All Started With a Big Bang
by Wednesdayite13
Summary: When the Decepticons are in need of human aid, who better to go for? Simple summary since I'm just making this up as I go along


"It's a human design."

"Which means we're gonna need a human?" Vampirella asked, looking up at the seeker.

"Unless you paid attention in your science class?" Starscream suggested a little too hopefully.

Vampirella shook her head. "Not a chance."

****BANG****

"So all we need to do is capture a smart guy and threaten them into fixing our satellite." Vampirella stated, as if the whole thing was pretty simple.

"And where do we find said _smart guy_?" Knockout asked.

Vampirella shrugged. "I'm sure I'll find one."

****BANG****

**Three days later**

"You know, throughout the entire film, Legolas and Frodo never speak to each other." Dr Sheldon Cooper pointed out.

"Yeah, and the elf's eyes change colour." The easily amused Leonard laughed.

"And Orlando broke the bow." Howard added.

"There is also a hilariously obvious mistake in the scene where Pippin and Merry find Frodo and Sam in the field. If you look at the cloud of dust, there is clearly a car there." Sheldon continued with his pointless facts.

"Yes but they erased it from the DVD." Raj told the others. "Which is really annoying if you're trying to tell your friends about the movie mistake."

"Oh who have you ever watched the Lord of the Rings with, besides us?" Leonard asked.

Raj looked away. "I-I read that comment on the Internet."

"Yeah, it was my comment." Said someone behind him. He turned and saw, of course, a girl. He immediately turned back. "Hi I'm…Kremlyovskaya." She figured that name would be best.

"What's that you're wearing?" Howard asked, his attention on a ring with engraving around her neck.

"Oh, a One Ring replica." Vampirella replied.

"I can see that. Why are you wearing it?"

Vampirella paused. What kind of a question was that? "Because…I like the Lord of the rings?"

Howard gave Leonard an unbelieving look. "So what do you do in your spare time?"

She smiled. "Oh well I'm the guitarist in a rock band. I just wrote a song about Loki and Thor, actually. I'm also an artist, last thing I did was a painting of the young Anakin Skywalker. I'm a comedy dancer, last I did was Gandalf Style." Gandalf Style was a parody of Gangnam Style Vampirella wrote for the Poke-e-Gheists. "Oh and at the moment me and some friends are trying to fix a satellite."

"You're trying to fix a satellite?" Leonard repeated. "What's wrong with it?"

"Well it's kinda in pieces. You can blame a wind-tunnel laser for that." Vampirella explained. "Me and the other scientists are getting there though."

"So you get on with these other scientists?" Howard asked, still partly wondering if he was dreaming.

She shook her head. "No, not at all. But I kinda don't have a choice."

"Well you always have a choice." Sheldon stated. "No-one's forcing you."

Vampirella snickered. "Sure. I'm not about to defy _glorious leader _since I'm kinda enjoying this thing you people call life."

Howard leaned back and pulled up a chair from the table behind them. "Take a seat."

Smiling, Vampirella sat beside Howard. "Thanks."

Obviously disliking the company, Sheldon groaned and rolled his eyes.

"So what else are you in to?" Leonard asked.

"Well, between you and me, I can do mind tricks. I can tell you anything about anyone even if I have never met them before in my life."

Sheldon snickered.

Vampirella turned her attention to Sheldon. "What? Don't believe me, Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper? You know, you've not been very welcoming. I sure hope you were nicer to your twin sister, Missy, back in Texas. If I were you, I'd be a bit nicer before I throw a diseases bird in your direction…" Smiling, she added, "Moonpie. Oh, sorry, Shelly. Only your Meemaw can call you that."

Leonard laughed. "That was impressive."

"Thank you. It's kinda my job."

****BANG****

Meanwhile, back on the Nemesis, Starscream and Knockout were still trying to piece together the broken satellite while Soundwave was busy hacking into the university's CCTV. He managed to get picture, just not sound.

"Do you really think she'll find someone?" Starscream asked.

Knockout looked up at the screen. "By the looks of things, she has."

****BANG****

At the end of the day, despite Sheldon's protests, Leonard invited Vampirella back to their place. The two were playing Mario Sonic Winter Olympics on the WII.

"Oh yeah." Vampirella laughed. "I also fence."

"I can tell." Leonard and Vampirella were doing fencing. Vampirella was Shadow and Leonard was Sonic.

Vampirella cried in victory. "YES!"

Howard was just watching in amazement. "Where have you been all my life."

Vampirella just smiled and flexed her servo. "Bear with, I just dislocated my thumb."

"Oh my God, are you OK?" Leonard asked.

She nodded. "I'm fine." She pushed her joint back into it's socket. "Now it's not dislocated."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" He asked.

She shook her head. "It's only a dislocated thumb." She saw Raj whisper something to Howard.

"Yeah, I've never seen you around before." Howard said.

"Oh, no. I'm not from around here. You can probably tell by my accent that I'm English."

"Really?" All three, since Raj couldn't talk to her, asked.

Vampirella laughed. "Not all English people are posh who play croquet with butlers, you know. Some, like me, enjoy a good game of footie to pass the time. You know, football. The game where you kick the ball with your foot. That thing you pass of as football is NOT football, it's rugby!"

"So why are you here?" Leonard asked.

"Holiday." She replied simply.

****BANG****

_Found the One Ring, at first I was fine_

_Happily getting on with my life_

_Then you tell me that I have to leave the Shire_

_Go to Mordor, throw the ring in the fires_

_But at first we must gather some guys_

_We're gonna form a Fellowship_

_With Sam, Merry and Pip_

_Elves, dwarves and Men and Hobbits_

_And a grand old wizard too_

_Throw the ring into the fire_

_Then we can to back to the Shire_

_Throw the ring into the fire_

_Then can we please go back home to the Shire?_

"How long did it take for you to write this?" Leonard asked.

Vampirella paused, trying to remember. "About ten minutes?"

Howard choked on his drink. "Ten minutes?" Vampirella nodded.

"You said you're from England." Sheldon stated. "Yet your name is a Russian Vodka. I don't think that's your real name at all. I think you're hiding something."

"Oh give her a break, Sheldon." Leonard practically begged.

The smart thing would be to defend herself. She should give reasons for why they should trust her, and why his accusations were ridiculous. However, Vampirella would never do the smart thing.

"No, he's right. I'm actually an alien robot from the planet Cybertron. My real name's Vampirella. I'm here to gain your trust, find out if any of you could fix our satellite, and then capture you and bring you to our ship in the hope no-one steps on you." She stated simply.

"Good story." Leonard laughed. Good.

The 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme started playing. Vampirella picked up her phone. "Hello?...Oh, hey…yes.…oh, wow, really?...Wait, how do you know?...Oooh Sounders…Alright…Yeah…" The _person_ on the other end hung up.

"Sounders?" Leonard asked. What kind of a name was that? Must have been a nickname for someone.

"Oh, Poke-e-Gheist DJ." It wasn't a total lie. He did DJ for a Poke-e-Gheist variety album once. Soundwave and Blaster, before the war broke out.

****BANG****

_"Hello?"_

_"V, it's Starscream."_

_"Oh, hey."_

_"Do you know someone called Howard Wolowitz?"_

_"Yes."_

_"He's worked with NASA."_

_"Oh, wow, really?"_

_"Yes, he's the one we need."_

_"Wait, how do you know?"_

_"How do you think?"_

_"Ooh, Sounders?"_

_"Yes. Comm. me when you're ready."_

_"Alright."_

_"And good luck."_

_"Yeah."_

****BANG****

It was now night. With much protesting from Sheldon, Leonard finally managed to persuade him into letting Vampirella stay the night. She was sat up on the _couch _(as they'd say) figuring out what she'd do next. It's all just pure luck that they were in to the same geeky things.

Giving up, she sat back and started to read her new Spiderman comic.

"How are you doing that?" Leonard asked, scaring the living daylights out of Vampirella.

"I, erm, eat carrots. Main question, how did you do **that**?"

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me."

Leonard didn't answer. "Why are you still awake?"

"I can't sleep."

"You don't even look tired."

"Because I'm not, which is why I can't sleep."

Leonard didn't look convinced. "_Are _you hiding something?"

"Why would you even think that?"

Avoiding answering again, Leonard saw a small scratch on Vampirella's arm. But it wasn't like a normal scratch. It was almost like…like when someone keys your car. "How did you get that?"

She pulled her sleeve down and stood up threateningly. She may have had the body of a teenager, but she was taller that Leonard. Although, that wasn't hard. "That's none of your business."

"Why are you getting so defensive? Unless you _are _hiding something."

Her anger getting the better of her, Vampirella transformed into her full robot mode; still with the body of a teenager, but with black seeker wings and armour. Well, black and yellow Sheffield Wednesday style armour. Her optics glowed red.

"Alright, here's the thing." She pulled out her ninja stick. "You tell _anyone _and I will stick this then I will-" Hearing Sheldon approach, she quickly transformed back.

"What is all the commotion out here?"

"We were just going through comics, weren't we Leonard?"

Reluctantly, Leonard nodded.

"Well alright then." He turned and walked back to his room.

"What do you want?" Leonard whispered.

"Satellite? Actually it's Howard I need to be speaking to."

"No! You leave my friends out of this!"

Vampirella simply smiled. "Our satellite was originally of human design, but now has a few modifications. Well, enough to control every electronic device on Earth. Everything shuts down at once; the perfect doomsday. Except it's broken. Oh, and just so you know, I may have lied about a lot of things but I'm still very much a real geek here." She just wanted to make that clear that she didn't learn all this stuff just to get close to them. For example; she brought the One Ring replica while she was still an Autobot.

****BANG****

Since Vampirella didn't know where Howard lived, she had to find out. "You won't get away with this." Leonard was held at gun point, having no choice but to take Vampirella to Howard's. Well, Howard's mother's.

"I love it when they say that."

Finally arriving at their destination, Vampirella pulled out her phone and rang Soundwave. "Sounders, I'm about to call for Howard." She then put her phone on speaker.

She knocked three times.

_"Howard." _It was Sheldon's voice. They had a recording of Sheldon's voice? How?

She knocked another three times.

_"Howard." _

And another three times.

"_Howard." _

"Sheldon! Do you know what time it is?!" An angry voice shouted.

Vampirella glared at Leonard to answer, pressing the gun into his back. "Howard, it's important."

Then, Howard made the worst mistake of his life…he opened the door.

****BANG****

_'Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca_

_She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca_

_Her lips are devil red and her skin's the colour mocha_

_She will wear you out living la vida loca_

_Come on!_

_Livin la vida loca_

_Come on!'_

Vampirella danced around the Nemesis with parts of the satellite in each servo, having one hell of a great time. Starscream walked in on her.

"Oh. You're back."

The vampire nodded, before motioning over to the side of the room. The seeker saw two unconscious organics.

"I see."

"Howard Wolowitz and Leonard Hofstadter." Vampirella told him. "It was pretty easy, they never saw it coming."

They heard movement, they must be waking up. "Ugh, where are we?" Howard asked groggily.

Vampirella turned to face them with a genuinely exited smile on her face. "The Nemesis! Your friend was right about me, maybe you should have listened to him."

****BANG****

_Knock knock knock. _"Raj." _Knock knock knock. _"Raj." _Knock knock knock. _"Raj."

"Leonard was right." Raj stated, opening the door. "That **_is _**annoying."

"Yes, Leonard. Have you seen him? He's been gone for 13 hours and 27 minutes." Sheldon asked.

Raj sighed. "Broken the roommate agreement, has he?"

"Actually-"

"Don't answer that." Raj interrupted.


End file.
